in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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