Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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