no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
