I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
