the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
