You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
