make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize