I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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