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i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
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