Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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