ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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