I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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