But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
