I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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