margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
