He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
