Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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