His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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