A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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