I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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