When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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