her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
