i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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