Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
