he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
