I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
