That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
