she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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