I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize