if you like me you must not know who I am
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize