i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
