Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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