My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
