what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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