Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize