Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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