before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize