I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
