He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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