You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
