just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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