Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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