fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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