You made me cry and you don't even care
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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