If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize