and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
