I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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