i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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