I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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