I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize