im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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