ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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