Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
