I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
