Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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