i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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