so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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