And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just cut my nipple shaving
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
