Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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