ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize